Saturday, 25 April 2009

The panda and the poorly

This morning was an early start. couldn't sleep because of the noise - got up at seven and once i had showered etc strolled out onto the streets of downtown xi'an. There was VERY little going on. I was suprised usually it's hussle and bussle mania but because it's a saturday most people were asleep.
Chinese people REALLY like to nap

I think deep down inside i am chinese. i like sleep. i like food. i like tea. i perhaps like to party a little bit too much though.

anyway. it was quite sunny. (i say sunny, it was warm enough to take off my cardigan and the grey sheet i've been living under looked like someone had turned a light on above it) so i had a little read of my new book.. italo calvino - difficult lovers. they're short stories so they're really handy for bus rides. i read two. at 9 o'clock my taxi arrived to take me to THE PANDA SANCTUARY.

after breaking down twice and having to be jump started we were on our way. we drove for forty minutes so that plus getting the car moving took us to aboutquarter to eleven. I cruised around the panda place with marie and dave and i was really happy to see them. i fed some of the 'baby' panda although i couldn't hold them because they were older than one which means their claws are developed

the main purpose of the sanctuary is to get the panda to breed

i don't know how much people know about pandas but they are a VERY neerly extinct species.. why?
they aren't sure how to have sex

one of teh pandas in the reserve only has one hand because during a 'sex game' her mate ripped her arm off.


so what do these gamekeepers do
  • teach the men how to stand on their back legs in the hopes that they will eventually mount a female
  • artificially inseminate the females
  • aneasthitise the males, put an electrode up their bum - whizz it untill they ejaculate and then use this 'love juice' on the ladies
  • and my personally favourite ---- show the pandas dirty movies. you heard it hear first. PANDA PORN. (just to point them in the right direction)

something must be working though because they have had 3 cubs in 4 years.. which is quite alot.

after lunch and looking at more monkeys and cute animals i went home again.

i had felt particularly snivvley all day (and in fact because i had such a bad cold i wasn't allowed to go into the BABY BABY ICKLE panda place)

got home had a nap. still felt terrible
packed my bag for the youth hostel though (this was in an attempt to make friends)
had dinner
could barely eat with coughing and snivvling

decided not to go.

instead. tonight i have
facebooked - watched hairspray (WHICH I LOVED... i tried to watch it once but i thought it was too intense and i wasn't in the mood. but this time round was just amazing) re-heated some dinner left overs - snuggled in my duvet - coughed up some intestines.

so now i am off to bed. tomorrow is my last day off so i am going to do the terracota warriors and the 'tang paradise'.
if you're especially keen and interested you can look them up online.

i've also popped a couple of pictures up. on my facebook. so enjoy. missing everyone

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